I feel like we all ask this question from time to time, "What am I doing?" Sometimes words are added to the phrase, sometimes the phrase is meant for a specific action, sometimes is it meant for life in general.
As a college student, I am asked "What are You doing?" With my major, with my life, anything. So I too ask myself "What am I doing?"
As a Christian, I ask this question also, "God, what am I to do?"
Life on this Earth is not meant to be easy at all, especially as God's chosen people, yet why do we for some reason always have it in our heads "Once I get to point X, then it will be easier, then I will be better...." frankly the only point where we will be better and life will be easier is when we join our Father in Heaven, until then, trials shall come our way, things will be messy, life will be hard.
The human mind fascinates me, it helps that I am a psychology major, the problem with me is, I see how things should go, if I pray more I shall grow closer to God, trials will not be as difficult, community shall develop. If I stop eating so much, I will lose weight, I shall be able to have more energy to be a better temple for Christ and serve Him better. My brain knows what's up, yet there is the other part of me that gets in the way, my flesh, my sinful nature. For some reason, my brain and flesh are not on the same page, probably because the two are serving different masters, God is my master in my brain and heart and soul, but the Devil is the persuader of the flesh. I would not say the Devil is necessarily the master of my flesh, but it is my sinful nature that the Devil is able to easily persuade, I must battle it with my mind heart and soul that belongs to God so He gets the Eternal Glory.
Instead of asking "What am I doing?" I should ask, "God, what is Your will in my life? Am I doing it?" Sounds about right, now I need to train my brain for the battle of conflict that will ensue when I think "What am I doing?" to turn it to God and be Him Disciple in this life.