Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Oh the Dreams I have....

Through the years I have realized that God has used my dreams to tell me a little something. It is not like I dream that God approaches me and we have this conversation, but I have this weird yet wonderful dream and I wake up and have this realization that comes completely out of nowhere. I have yet to see one come to be (I had two dreams about marriage and the thought of "Get ready, cause you are going to marry" but I have also realized I need to give over the right to marry to God and not expect it, but that is another thought at another time.)

I had a dream like this last night. I dreamed that I was at a dance....we'll call it a workshop. I was with a group of dancers and we were all dancing as a group and there were also other groups at this place but it wasn't necessarily a competition. (Side note: I am in love with the show So You Think You Can Dance and I have always had a secret desire to lost weight and start taking all kinds of dance classes from hip hop to ballroom. I still think it may happen, there is just something that amazes me when it comes to dancing and I love the skill and art of it.) I hazily remember the dancing and loving it, but the scene that sticks out the most to me is I am laying on my stomach and other dancers are around me. I tell them I have not had dance lessons since I was a kid and they are amazed and complimenting me on my dancing, and then someone asks me what I am going to do in the future. I remember telling them (like I have told many people in real life) all the things I think I may pursue but having no clue what will happen next.  Someone says "Wow, you have so many passions, you are so gifted!" Even in the dream I was taken about. Yes, God has been too gracious and gifted me in different ways and with different passions.

Shortly after that I woke up, and I thought "God, you have given me a lot of passions, and you will in time show me what passion will further Your Will on this Earth." But also, I don't need to do every passion as "the thing" in my life. I also thought that while I love the idea of dance and maybe I will take some lessons and learn some styles, my secret ambition of becoming the best dancer ever does not need to come about in order for me to experience this passion for dance. Also, these passions will never fully satisfy me. These gifts are from God and it is only when I give them back to Him and use them as He needs them to be used will I truly enjoy and revel in these gifts. I do not need to take one passion and make it my entire future, it is the beautiful combination that God will create that will allow me to see their beauty and realize these come only from God.

All these passions have seemed suffocating to me because I feel like I have to find the one that will be my job and then fit in the rest, but I love so many things and can see myself doing so many different things I become so disheartened and just want to sit in a huff and have God figure it out. (Ironic that this is what God asks us to do, give this life over and not to worry, I sadly still worry and don't really fully give it back to Him.) The dream made me realize that I need to be humble to God has given me passions and I can do so many different things in life and I am not limited to one job profession or one ministry, I have no clue what God will show me or what places he will use my gifts in, but that isn't a bad thing, to not know. This whole is an adventure and knowing all the things God could bring about for me to do and grow in should be so exciting, not stifling. I graduate in less than a year from college, but that doesn't mean I have to plan my life other than keeping Christ in the center and spreading the gospel to people I interact with in my life. Gifts and passions will come and go as God sees fit, and if I am relying on those gifts and passions to truly make me happy, I will be disappointed and never satisfied. But if I am trying to find joy and love in Christ, gifts and passions will be a blessing and something that adds to my already joy filled life with Christ. This is the perspective I hope to have and find the true contentment in Christ and the adventure to come with Him being the leader in my life.

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